


Your Reason for Fighting?

by Resacon1990



Category: Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four, The Avengers (2012), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst and Humor, Character Death, M/M, Off-screen Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resacon1990/pseuds/Resacon1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Steve asked Tony what he was fighting for, and the one time he didn't.<br/>Five times Tony never answered, and the one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Reason for Fighting?

Tony never viewed himself as being a coward, or a scared person. But really, he was more than terrified at this exact moment. The idea of going out to face Loki in less than an hour was torturous. 

He bit his lip and returned back to rummaging through the lab for his gear. Behind him was the low murmurs of Barton, Steve and Natasha, all three of them throwing on their suits and conversing about plans of action. Normally Tony would feel a bit excluded, but he was thankful that they were ignoring him because he could barely even think straight, let alone hold up the mask that would make everyone think he was okay. 

"Tony?" 

Scratch that then. 

"Someone's going to have to distract Loki, and someone needs to get a close up look on the device thats powering the tesseract," Tony instantly replied, gesturing blindly to the tablet displaying Stark Tower in Steve's hand. "Just so we can assess the situation." 

"And who do you think that could be?" Natasha asked, stepping up beside him. Tony just gave her a dirty look before turning it to Steve. 

"Its going to have to be me," he muttered. Instantly Steve was opening his mouth, about to argue but Tony stuck up his hand. "Calm down solider, don't get your self sacrificing knickers in a twist." He smiled at the scowl he got sent his way, "I'm the best option right now. I need to get my new armor anyway." 

"Why can't you use this one?" 

"Um hello? Can you not see the state its in?" Tony asked, picking up the helmet and waving it around. "Its damaged! Almost beyond repair! And my new armor will be better suited for the chitauri things Thor was talking about." 

"But-" 

"Look Cap, it'll take me all of two minutes. I'm faster than you guys anyway. I'll go, have a look at the tesseract, go down, threaten Loki a bit then JARVIS will have my armor ready for me and I'll be back pissing you off faster than you can say hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!" 

"Say what?" 

"Exactly." 

"I can't believe you know how to even say that!" Barton called from his position by the door, the look in his eyes only one of awe as he glanced at Tony. The billionaire just nodded in his direction before looking back at Steve. 

"It'll be okay, no worries," he tired to reassure, not knowing whether it was Steve or himself that needed it. He saw the doubt in Steve's eyes, the way there was that little bit of light flickering that he vaguely recognized as the sign Steve was thinking of another plan. Guess his father was good for some things, like telling stories about Captain America before bed, someone to look up to be and be as brave as. Although, despite that he couldn't stop the want for Steve to find an alternative plan to rise up in him.  

"I just don't want you to be put at unnecessary risk." 

"Look, JARVIS? How long will it take for my suit to be ready?" 

"Five minutes sir, from the moment you enter a ten meter radius of Stark Tower." 

Barton looked a little spooked at the sudden voice filling the room, and Steve looked like he wanted to ignore it with the way he was staring at Tony. But the facts were there, and Tony's face was too hard to read to see what he _truly_ felt. 

"He'll be okay Captain, he aways is. You said it yourself, always a way out. Tony seems to find them," Natasha piped up, almost absentmindedly as she prodded at the helmet, unable to see the obvious way the two males flinched. The wound was a bit to fresh to pick at, but Natasha seemed a bit too distant to realise. 

"She's right. I'll be fine." 

They left a moment later, something about find a carrier. As soon as the door had closed Tony turned around and gripped his hair in a rough hold. What the actual hell was wrong with him? He couldn't do this! Facing Loki was one thing, attempting to _not_ die in the process on the other hand. 

His hands literally shook as he reached over to grab the blow torch. He had to suit up, had to be on time, dammit he had to do something! 

"Do you know how I dealt with it?" 

Tony was ashamed to admit he squeaked as Steve's voice echoed through the room. He hadn't even realised that the other was in the room, nor that he'd even come in the room. With a quick twirl, he turned to face him. 

"What?" 

Steve snorted and strolled over to lean against the nearby bench, arms crossed over his broad chest, "I know that look Tony. The one where you wish hat someone else would do the job. I used to be the king of that look." Seeing the confusion on Tony's face, he sighed and continued. "I never wanted to do half the things I was ordered to do. I never wanted to go to a base and free all of our men and kill all of the others in the process. I never wanted to go plant five bombs in one place just to get rid of a few high up men. I never _ever_ wanted to destroy towns with explosives that were also filled with innocents. I used to get told that it was all for the greater good, killing few meant saving many. I never believed that." 

"But you were a hero. You saved hundreds." 

"And killed thousands in the process," Steve sighed, shaking his head in either disappointment or disagreement. "The point Tony, is that I never wanted to do some of the things I had to do. But do you know how I got through that?" 

"Enlighten me." 

"I thought of what I was fighting for." 

The way he said it with so much conviction stumped Tony for a minute, making him drop the tools in his hand and actually look at the other. Steve just smiled at him, a small sad one that never reached his eyes. 

"I thought of Peggy a lot. Most of the time. I thought of Bucky and America. Sometimes I thought of Howard, Colonel Phillips, even the Howling Commandos. I'd think about Mum sometimes, think of how proud she would've been of me." 

"What about your Dad?" 

Steve snorted, "I don't think the drunk bastard would've cared." Seeing the look of surprise on Tony's face made him chuckle darkly. "What? Think you were the only one with Daddy issues? Or did you think I was unable to swear?" 

"I-" 

"Never mind. The point of this was to try to get you to think."  

Steve walked over and clasped Tony's shoulders, leaning down slightly to make eye contact. 

"What are you fighting for?" 

Tony didn't think he'd seen anyone look so disappointed when he whispered he didn't know.

 

…

 

The second time had been a little bit more expected, well almost. 

"I don't get it, the way he looked at me was as if I was some unfortunate soul or something," Tony bitched to Clint as they trailed a long behind Thor and Natasha, the only woman of the group attempting to keep the god from touching everything in sight. "Felt slightly demoralized." 

"Well, when you think about it, that was a pretty big thing for Cap to share with you," Clint replied, looking around the six foot giant being dragged around by a woman half her size to stare at Steve and Bruce. "I mean, I don't believe he'd just come out and tell anyone anything about his past experiences in the war." 

"Oh? But he's happy to go to a war museum?" 

"Technically we're in a general museum, just in the war section," Natasha spoke up as she tugged Thor over. Tony just waved her off and continued to glare in the direction of the captain. He didn't expect his filthy look to actually reach the other, but he hoped that Steve had that weird sense of someone watching him right now. 

Payback in such a pathetic way. 

"But still. Anyway, why come here? It's just going to bring back memories. And why is he with Bruce? I'd expect him to be with… I don't know, Natasha? At least you know some of the old Howling Commandos and can talk to the old man." 

"Actually, Bruce knows more about the world wars than us," Natasha replied, her tone quite clipped as she glared at Tony. Clint flinched at it and quickly grabbed Thor, dragging him over to the other two. "And I think he would've preferred being with you Tony." 

"What? Thats ridiculous." 

"Tony, he knew your father-" 

"He knew Howard. Not my father." 

"He knew who he was then. As do you, from stories or real life it doesn't matter. But you can't tell me you don't know anything. I know you met all the Howling Commandos, Dum Dum Dugan was your Uncle and Godfather. And you knew Peggy Carter, your Aunt and godmother. I know they told you all the stories, and I know that you know almost everything that Steve went through." She gave him a hard look that made him shift uncomfortably. "Looking at these 'old relics' will be a flashback for him, and almost for you too." 

Tony just shot her a filthy look before storming off towards Steve. 

"Anything you remember Cap?" he asked as he slid in beside him, seeing Bruce look at him with a smile before disappearing over to the others. Steve looked down in surprise, eyes wide as he cocked his head to the side in an adorable way. 

"Didn't think you'd be interested." 

"Your judging wounds me!" 

"Tony, you said, and I quote, "who the hell cares about old shit? I have a whole bunch of new shit in my lab, well not shit per-say, more highly technical…" blah blah blah, you lost me after that." 

"I didn't _mean_ it. I never mean anything I say." 

"Which makes that statement redundant." 

"Shut up. Do you want me to reminisce with you or not?" 

"Oh, so _thats_ what you were trying to do." 

Tony let out a huff as he turned to look at the cabinet in front of him. Only Steve would be able to piss him off enough to make him turn away like a baby. And Pepper… and maybe Rhodey… and well pretty much all of the Avengers… and- 

"Stop thinking so hard, you're giving me a headache." 

"Shut up Rogers." 

With a small growl he actually focused on his eyes to see what he was looking at, only to jump when he saw hundreds of eyes looking back. It took him a moment, a long moment, to get over the sudden shock to see that there were hundreds of small photographs inside the cabinet, all black and white, all varying shapes of circles and squares, varying sizes and with various women in them. 

"What is this?" 

Steve smiled as he reached out and touched the glass, his fingers slipping down it slowly. "Its all the pictures recovered from dead soldiers." 

"You mean these are all their…" he trailed off, not quiet sure what to say here. Something that was appropriate and not so blatant. He couldn't exactly say lovers or anything. 

"Their sweethearts, yeah," Steve finished for him, shooting him a smile of thanks. "I like how they've done it, like a collage. I love how they've put in the gay soldier's ones too." 

"Really?" and sure enough he was able to spot out a few male faces looking back at him, only thanks to Steve's pointing fingers though. He smiled, reaching up with his own hand and trailing it over the glass until it bumped into Steve's. A quick glance towards the other confirmed the belief that yes, yes Steve would blush uncontrollably at any form of romanticized contact. 

He curled his fingers around Steve's hand to stop him from pulling it away. 

"Do you recognize any of them?"  

Steve smiled, and despite it being smaller than his normal one it was still a happy one. 

"I'm surprised you don't," he replied before using the hand he was holding to trail their fingers up to point at them all. "All of the Howling Commando ones are here. For one there's your Aunt Mary, Dum Dum's girl." 

"They've been together that long?" 

"Either that or he's a bit obsessive. And then there's Gabe Jones' girl Virginia," he dragged their fingers up to point at one picture not too far on Dum Dum's one's left. "And beside her is Montgomery Flashworth's girl. Never found out her name, she died halfway through the war. Guess thats why Monty didn't come out alive at the end…." he looked away for a brief moment, composing himself before continuing, "Jim Morita's girl Elizabeth is beside Jacques Dernier's Helen," he continued as though the moment about Montgomery didn't happen. Tony squeezed his hand anyway. "And then there's Bucky's sister Rebecca, he could never hold onto a girl long enough to have one waiting back home for him," the chuckle was dark, "and then there's James' two. His friend Rose and boy Alexander." 

"James?" 

"James Howlett." 

Tony stared at Steve with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You mean Logan? Wolverine? You served with Wolverine?" 

"He's been alive for a long time. He just found his way to us." 

"And he's _gay_?" 

Steve burst out laughing, "Of course that's what you'd stick to. Yes, James is gay… well borderline. Why do you think him and Scott do so many missions together despite their so called hate?" 

"Logan's gay… _with Summers_?" 

"I wouldn't say gay. He was in love with Rose, she just didn't return the feelings." Tony actually felt a little sorry for the other man. "And then she died before the war. She was his best friend." 

Tony was quiet, seeing Steve look so sad was a little heart breaking and he didn't even stop to think as he tugged on their joined hands, now swinging by their sides, to raise them back up to the window. 

"Where's you girl?" 

"I can't believe you don't recognize your own Aunt Peggy," Steve laughed before dragging their hands down to point at the center piece of the whole thing, a single compass with a old photo in it. Tony's jaw dropped as he looked closer and recognized both his aunt and the fact that it was indeed the compass Captain America had carried around with him, the one given to him by Mrs Rogers, his mother. 

"How did they get this?" he gasped, turning to flash Steve a grin before gazing at the compass with an almost hungry expression. He remembered his father talking about it all the time, and even sitting down and watching clips of Captain America with Grandpa Phillips and Aunt Peggy that had the compass in it. He'd always wanted one exactly like that, maybe with a photo of his own girl or boy in it. 

"Fury gave it to them." Steve didn't sound too happy with it and instantly Tony was tugging him away. 

"Come on, you have a rightful claim to it! We can get it back!" 

"Tony-" 

"Seriously! They can't withheld objects from their rightful owners if said owner doesn't fully agree to their possession of it." 

"But-" 

"It'll take two words!" 

"Tony! Stop!" 

"Not exactly what I was thinking but-"  

Steve laughed and pulled Tony back over to the cabinet, grinning at Natasha and Clint as they raised eyebrows in their direction from their place over the room. 

"Tony, if we took it away it would destroy the purpose of the whole thing. Really, have a look at the title of the exhibit," he waved his other hand in its direction before reading it out, "'Something worth fighting for', and what would that really mean if Captain America's own reason wasn't there?" 

"Aunt Peggy was your reason?" 

Steve smiled, not a broken or sad one, but a happy one. "Yeah, she was." 

"I'm hearing a past tense word in there Cap, someone new is there?" 

Steve just looked at him, one of those looks that made Tony feel naked and bared to him, one of those looks that made him think that Steve could see everything he'd tried to hide. But he didn't say anything, just squeezed Tony's hand. 

He was _almost_ prepared for the question this time. 

"Have you found what you're fighting for, Tony?" 

"Pepper maybe? My tower? New York. Ooh Happy, because if he couldn't drive me around he'd go nuts. Maybe the iron man suits because I spent way too much time on those, and the arc reactor because anything I do is just stupid to waste-" 

He was cut off by the hurt look flashing across Steve's face and the disappearance of the hand in his as the blond turned and walked away. 

"Smart move jackass, being sarcastic wasn't the best thing to do." 

"Shut the fuck up Barton."

 

…

 

 

"I really think that _Victor_ has outdone himself this time!" 

"You know, normally I appreciate the sentiment of your stupid lines, but really Stark? Shut up!" 

"Ditto Barton!" 

"Boys! Really! Behave!" 

"Shut up Tasha!" 

"…" 

"And thus, Stark signed his death wish." 

"Guys! Focus please!" 

All three of them turned away from their slight glaring contest as Steve jumped down from a nearby balcony to land on the street, his face one of mild anger and total exasperation. He raised an eyebrow in their direction, a clear dare for them to argue with him and obviously have their asses kicked, before reaching up to hit the communicator in his ear. 

"Doctor? Update on where Doom is?" 

" _Sure thing Cap, he's currently in Marine Park, Brooklyn._ " 

"What the hell is he doing there?" Tony demand as he flung out a gauntlet and slammed a beam into a doombot sneaking up behind Steve. The blond flicked him a quick salute in thanks before concentrating on what Bruce was saying. 

" _Well, he appears to be… dancing… literally dancing around some sort of machine chanting 'Captain America!'._ " 

"Weirdo…"  

Steve rolled his eyes at Tony's reaction. "Is there anything else you can tell us?" 

" _It seems the machine is the thing producing all of these bots. Take that out and I think it might be a home run from there._ " 

"Got it." Steve turned and looked at the other three, vaguely wondering where Thor was, but the delighted whoops from a street over and the stench of smoke in the air confirmed that Thor was having a mighty fun time. 

"He's with the X-Men," Tony quickly filled in, seeing the look of wonder on Steve's face. "Probably chilling with your buddy, Howlett." 

"You just can't get over it." 

"He's with _Summers!_ And they're probably doing it on a car right now while Thor watches!" 

"Thats-" 

"What Norse gods do! Watch people bang each other!" 

"He's right," Barton piped up. "Its part of their religion." 

They were both silence by Steve's glare. 

"I don't care whats going on. What I need now is to get to Brooklyn. Doctor?" 

" _Yeah?_ " 

"I need the Hulk down there, try to take out the machine." 

" _But-_ " 

"I know I said you could sit this one out, but we've had to call in the X-Men _and_ Spider-Man to try help. I don't want to have to call in the Fantastic Four, especially if it means Tony and Reeds will get into another bloody fight that leads to half of Manhattan destroyed." 

" _… understood._ " 

"Hey! We weren't that bad!" 

"Tony, shut up. I need you to take me to Marine Park now, Clint, go to Thor and see if he can take you. Stay high up in the trees and take out as many as you can with your arrows, and tell Thor to light up because these things aren't that resistant to lightning if they're being made in high quantities. Natasha, I need you to stay here and keep and eye on Spider-Man, he's young and stupid. And… make sure Howlett and Summer's aren't…" 

"Doing the dirty on the job," Tony finished for him as he wrapped an arm around the Captains waist. "All clear guys?" 

Two more choruses of "understood" echoed around them before Tony was taking off, narrowly avoiding smashing into Clint as he ran past as he flew up above the buildings. He spotted Spider-Man jumping down to land beside Natasha and Thor letting out loud battle cries as he fought with the X-Men before they were all behind him and it was just him and Steve in the air. 

"You know, this could be romantic-" 

"Focus Tony, I beg you." 

"You're no fun Cap." 

Nothing more was said between the two as they flew, both with their eyes trained on the ground as they looked for signs of movement. The sound of Tony's mumbles though as he spoke with JARVIS made Steve relax slightly, and Tony smiled at the idea of the great hero of America actually feeling safe in a giant robots arms as they flew thousands of feet off of the ground. 

He just continued to absorb the pleasant feelings that gave him. 

When they finally touched down in the center of the park though, Steve broke the silence as he swore. It didn't take long for Tony to realise why and he quickly jettisoned back up to try locate where Doom was. 

"He's about a two minute walk away, the machines reasonably quiet," Tony murmured into the ear piece before focusing harder and laughing. "Oh, maybe its because of that giant ball of 'oh my god what the fuck' walking around beating the shit out of everything." 

"Tony, shut up and get me there." 

"Yes sir!" he mocked before swooping down once again and flying him to the clearing the destruction was in. It surprised him to see Doom had disappeared, but not as much as seeing Hulk sitting in the middle of the debris chewing on a piece of metal. 

"Hulk do good?" 

Steve just patted him on the knee, "Yes you did," he reassured before turning to look at Tony with a seemingly fake smile. "Why is he wearing Dora the Explorer boxers?" 

Tony grinned, "I made them for him! Extra stretchy. So we don't have to relive the Queens Incident." He grinned as Steve shuddered, knowing he was thinking of a very naked Hulk running down the streets and taking out Clint with his… pork sword. He still wished he'd had a camera at that stage in time, just to record Clint's face as the Hulks 'hammer' had slammed into him. 

"But Dora?" 

"Hulk love Dora!" 

Tony grinned at the green man as he tugged the piece of metal out of his mouth. "Yes you do," he chuckled before looking down at the metal.  

Only to freeze. 

"That _bastard_!" 

"Tony?" 

"That sonofabitch! He fucking used Stark Industries material!" he cried as he all but threw the metal at Steve, not caring when it almost hit him in the head. "What an asshole!" 

"Tony, calm down, its not as-" 

"As bad as it seems? If word gets out then SI is screwed! And I can't handle Pepper having a bloody heart attack on top of that!" he snapped, glaring at the other before he shouted at JARVIS to locate Doom. Without breaking his stride he stormed over to a clear patch, away from Hulk and Steve. 

"Tony, wait." 

"Don't try and stop me Steve." 

"I wasn't going to," _that_ got his attention. He glanced at Steve briefly, flushing slightly at the fond look being sent his way. "I was going to ask if you want me to send Hulk back with the remains of the machine?" 

He knew there was a reason he wanted to kiss the Captain. 

Wait… what? 

"Um yeah? Yeah that'd be good." The adrenaline came back quickly though after being shocked away by… whatever that thought had been. "Hey Cap? What's that question you always ask me?" 

"What?" 

"You know, like at the museum a couple of weeks ago? Ask me again." 

Steve raised an eyebrow before smiling slightly. "Think you have an answer now?" 

"I think so." 

"What… what are you fighting for?" 

"My fucking company. And the goddamn right to kick anyone who fucks with it's ass!" 

He was gone before he could see Steve look downcast, and Hulk pat him into the ground.

 

…

 

"Why couldn't any of us be mind readers? Gather the power of minds within our body! That sort of shit? Why not?" 

Of course everyone looked at Tony as if he'd grown an extra head as he randomly sprouted out that odd line. Slowly, ever so slowly, Clint stood up and began to edge out of the room. 

"The hell you doing Barton?" 

"Being careful," he replied, eyes not leaving Tony's. "I don't want to run the risk of catching crazy." 

Natasha snorted in laughter before reaching up and dragging Clint back down on the couch beside her, using him as a pillow. Of course dear old Clint was promptly distracted by the redhead snuggling into his chest and he flicked the others pleased grins. Thor grinned back before rising to his feet and leaving the lounge towards the kitchen while Bruce turned to Tony. 

"Whats up Tony?" 

"Tall blond and old is packing a grouch at me," he muttered, jerking a thumb over in the direction Thor had gone in, and he could vaguely hear the sounds of Steve and Thor conversing. "Fucked if I know why." 

"Maybe because you're an idiot?" Clint offered. 

"No… because then he'd hate you more." 

"Burn," Natasha laughed, flicking Clint on the nose before turning to raise an eyebrow in Tony's direction. "But he is right Stark, you're an idiot. It should be obvious why Steve is angry with you." 

"Why?" 

"Because you insulted him." 

Seeing the confused look on Tony's face, Bruce sighed and leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he leveled his stare to Tony's. "Look, what she means is that you've both upset Steve and angered him." 

"How!" 

"But not taking his question seriously." Another confused look. "Tony, Steve means it when he asks what we fight for. All of us were asked the same thing, all of us replied various answers. It's personal for each person but we all know what you've said, we all know you've taken the mickey out of him and replied with stupid answers. So its understandable for him to be angry." 

"How-" 

"Have you ever asked him what he is fighting for? He's told all of us." 

Tony was stunned speechless, his mouth working up and down as he tried to find some words to say, but he was cut off by Steve and Thor's return. 

"Friends! We have brought you the finest of meads!" Thor declared as he wandered around handing out drinks before plopping down beside Bruce. The scientist raised an eyebrow at the drink before giving the god a questioning look and Thor instantly picked up on the unspoken question. "Fear not Doctor! For this mead is-" 

"Apple juice," Steve cut in, flicking them all a grin as Thor made a content noise and chugged back half his glass. Steve smiled as he gave Thor the second glass he was holding in his hands before dropping down beside Tony, purposefully pressed up against the other side of the couch and not making eye contact. 

"What are we viewing tonight, Friend Bruce?" 

"Mulan." 

"Mulan?" 

"A princess movie," Natasha explained, smiling at Thor. "About a warrior woman who seeks out justice." 

"A fine cause for a woman of high regard!" Thor boomed, "Allow the viewing to commence!" 

Tony felt rather than heard Steve chuckle beside him, and as the lights dimmed and the loud noise of the movie began to rang through the room he shuffled that little bit closer and tapped the blond on the arm. 

"Steve-" 

"Tony shut up, the movie-" 

"No Steve, I need to say I'm sorry." The incredulous look sent his way made him sigh. "For being a dick about… about everything. I didn't mean to insult you or be an asshole." 

He couldn't say much else, just sit there under Steve's stare before he slowly nodded and turned back to the movie. 

They didn't speak again until the "Girl worth fighting for" scene came on. The song playing through the room as Clint sung to it, Thor laughed and agreed greatly with everything, Bruce attempting to not get killed as Thor swung his arms madly, Natasha mumbling the lyrics under her breath, and Steve was just looking at him. 

"Steve?" 

"Tony… whats your reason?" 

Tony sucked in a deep breath, his heart thumping madly as he stared into those bright blue eyes. He felt the bottom of his stomach drop and for some reason all he could focus on at that moment was the steady breaths coming in and out of Steve's mouth. 

"I…" he froze, unable to think, eyes locked more on the way Steve looked so undeniably _gorgeous_ with only the light of the TV splaying over his features and highlighting them beautifully, before Thor's sudden loud cry of dismay as the song ended literally vibrated through his head.  

"Tony?" 

"I don't know Steve." 

The quiet disappointment in those eyes he hadn't been able to tear himself away from almost made him cry. 

 

…

 

Tony Stark didn't get angry often. Snarky and sarcastic yes, but all out pissed off no. 

"For fucks sake Thor! Can you not _ever_ keep your goddamn brother under fucking control!" 

"Tony!" 

" _Man of Iron, I am forever sorry for my brothers antics._ " 

"Stop it Thor! You don't need to apologize to this hunk of scrap metal." 

"Shut up Cap!" 

The intense glare he was submitted to was completely worth it. With a quick grin, Tony flicked a few repulser beams towards the onslaught of rather nasty super villains, missing Steve, Havok and Wolverine in the process but shot right through Deadpool. 

Fucking Deadpool. 

"Spidey! Get your suicidal girlfriend out of here!" Tony snarled into the communicator, smirking at the squawk of Spider-Man as he reminded Tony that one, Deadpool was a male and two he _was not dating him_. "Take him to fight off the Lizard before he keeps tearing up downtown or something!" A quick affirmative and Spider-Man was suddenly swinging past, scooping up Deadpool on his way. Steve just raised an eyebrow in his direction before turning to shout into his own headpiece. 

"Black Widow, status report!" 

" _Sure thing Cap. Loki and Thor are currently on top of Stark Tower-_ " 

"Fucking bastards can't leave my shit alone can they!" 

"Shut up Tony!" 

" _\- and I think Thor's trying to negotiate with him. The Fantastic couple are dealing with Doom and his bots, I think that Storm is trying to help. Apparently the bots aren't as rain resistant as we thought. Hulk and Thing are working together somehow to take out Abomination, but they've torn up most of midtown in doing so. Iceman and Archangel are currently in Central Park trying to stop doombots. Spider-Man and Deadpool are taking out Lizard down in the subways, but by the looks of it they'll be up here in seconds. Hawkeye, Banshee and I are still up on the roofs, seems like there's a nest of lizards in the middle of the streets, we're going to check it out._ " 

"Alright, thanks." 

" _No problem Cap._ " 

Steve dropped his hand just in time to bring his other up and slam it into the face of one of the weird demonic frog things Loki had unleashed, watching it fall to the ground before assessing the men in front of him. Cyclops was leaning heavily on Wolverine, breathing slowly into his neck and even Tony was surprised to see the worried look on Wolverine's face, Havok was standing beside his brother, eyes twitching madly as he assessed the situation while Beast mumbled facts into his ear, Tony was convinced _they_ had something going on like Havok's brother and the tin man he was leaning on. The Human Torch was currently standing on a mound of rubble, looking out at the advancing forces through the destroyed streets of Brooklyn. 

"You would think they'd stick to one place. Like Manhattan or Queens instead of being everywhere!" he called down and Steve flicked him a grin in acknowledgment. The Human Torch replied in kind before coming down to stand with the others. 

"Iron Man?" 

"Yeah Cap?" 

"Has JARVIS been able to locate Red Skull?" Even Wolverine tensed up at the name, trading a look with Steve as obvious memories floated around their heads. 

"Sorry Cap, but apparently he's staying low." 

Steve nodded before turning back to look down the street with a huff, "Wolverine? Know where Magneto and Professor X are?" 

"Last I heard was they were still in Washington playing chess outside Lincoln Memorial. Something about negotiations." Wolverine's laugh was a bitter one. "Typical of them, Charlie and Maggie don't actually want to be where the fighting is. Instead they'd rather be in a different fucking place all together." 

"Logan, calm down," Cyclops whispered, and Tony winced at how small his voice was. The battle really was taking their toll on people. Even Havok moved forward to start supporting his brothers weight. He saw Steve give them a concerned look before beckoning to Tony. 

"What do you think we can do?" he asked as soon as he and Tony were out of ear shot. 

"Well, we can't really do anything until we find Red Skull. He's the mastermind behind this attack. Loki may think he is but Skull only used him to bring back all of these others, and Thor's got him under control for the moment." He sighed and pushed back the face plate, enjoying the blast of fresh air before he focused on Steve again, trying to ignore the cuts and scraps littering the other mans face yet unable to resist the temptation to reach up and touch him. It surprised him when Steve leaned into the touch. 

"We have to do something-" 

" _Cap! Incoming!_ " 

Natasha's voice sounded oddly strained and instantly Tony and Steve turned in time to see a large tentacle come crashing down in front of them. Without putting much thought into anything else, Tony slammed the faceplate down and grabbed on to Steve, flying them as high as possible. A quick glance confirmed that the others had moved, Beast clinging to a nearby pole with Havok clutched in one hand, the Human Torch hiding in a fetal position behind a pile of rubble, Wolverine covering Cyclops with his body in all but plain sight. Tony swore. 

"Guess we've got Otto Octavius, Doctor Octopus," he muttered, hovering in place as the villain looked around in confusion. "Dammit Spidey, why can you never actually _kill_ your opponents!" 

" _Sorry!_ " 

"Whatever kid! Wolverine! Move your ass! He's about to crush you!" Tony screamed and clutched Steve tighter, whether in fear or anticipation he didn't know but he could vaguely feeling Steve clutching him back. Luckily Wolverine rolled out of the way and dragged an unconscious Cyclops with him. 

"Hit him with your repulsers, aim for the joints," Steve muttered in his ear and Tony instantly obeyed, flying closer and throwing everything he had and more into four different lasers. 

It didn't work. 

Next thing he knew he was on the ground, his suit in badly need of a recharge as Steve dragged him into a nearby building. He could vaguely see the outline of Cyclops being placed beside him before everything went black. 

He could only hear voices now. 

"Wolverine! I need you to try see how thick those tentacles are, Havok and Torch, distract him as much as possible. Use your beams to hit his legs and unbalance him, Torch be as annoying as you normally are! Beast, I need you to go find Spider-Man, help him and Deadpool finish off Lizard then get your asses back here!" 

Three affirmatives and one grunt. Fucking Wolverine. 

Loud crashes and bangs, sounds of grunts of pain and screams of agony. The occasional cry of Steve as he'd call out to one teammate. At one point Tony heard Cyclops whimper a "Logan" before curling into a fetal position. He tried to call out, tried to cry for help but nothing came out. Instead he managed to turn himself over and reach out to Cyclops, pulling him into a tight embrace as if to help him fight off the pain. The way he instantly relaxed was enough proof to know that it helped. 

" _Cap!_ " 

"Status Widow!" 

" _Beast, Spider-Man and Deadpool are on their way back, ETA two to three minutes, depending on whether Spider-Man's leg is broken or not. It looks it-_ " 

"How many wounded do we have?" 

" _Spider-Man is looking worse for wear, Iron Man and Cyclops seem unable to respond but can hear us and move small distances, Mister Fantastic is barely standing, Hawkeye is only just conscious after a doombot knocked him off a roof, Archangels been… de-winged. Iceman's not looking too good too. And Banshee's out for the count._ " 

That was eight out of their thirty. Not good. 

"Shit. Right, Widow?" 

" _Yes?_ " 

"I need you to find Red Skull at all costs." 

" _Sir._ " 

"Wolverine, Human Torch, I need you to move Iron Man and Cyclops-" 

" _Captain! Some sort of animal is coming your way!_ " 

"Beast?" 

" _It looks like Sabretooth!_ " 

Tony let out a yelp as suddenly he was all but being dragged outside by a half delirious Cyclops before being thrown at Steve as he stumbled towards Wolverine. 

"Logan-" 

"You sure it's him Beast?" 

" _Positive._ " 

"No… Logan please! Don't-" 

Tony watched in fascination as Wolverine briefly kissed Cyclops before wiping away a stray tear. Something seemed to pass between them, and whilst Steve looked away Tony couldn't, his eyes locked on them as they seemed to say goodbye. Then suddenly Wolverine was tearing away, throwing a quick salute in Steve's direction before he was gone. 

Instantly Havok was by Cyclops' side as he broke down. 

"He mightn't come back alive, will he?" Tony practically breathed, flinching when Steve just nodded his head and tightened an arm around his waist. There was silence for a long moment, as much silence as one could get with screams and explosions happening around them as well as the anguished cries of a broken man, but it was enough for Tony to full wake up and realise that all hell was going to break loose. 

"Right team," Steve spoke up, addressing them all. "There's only a few of us left, and we all need to work together. Beast, Spider-Man, Deadpool, get down here and finish off Doom. Torch has him covered for now but he'll need help in a moment." 

" _Yes sir!_ " 

"Invisible woman, I need you to get Mister Fantastic out of the fray, get him to Widow, she has Hawkeye and Banshee with her. That goes for you Iceman, get both yourself and Archangel to her as well. Iron Man-" 

"I'm not fucking leaving you." 

He wished he could look at that smile forever. "Alright, wounded to Widow, Spider-Man finish up and get there too. Thing and Hulk, I need you finish up the Abomination then to get up and help Thor take down Loki, it's taking him too long and Loki seems to have a weakness for Hulk. Wolverine is otherwise occupied until further notice. Havok, take Cyclops and…" he glanced down and seemed to be surprised at the stern look sent his way, "… get to Doctor Doom. He's not quite finished yet, Storm assist them in anyway possible. Got it?" 

There were affirmatives all round, and Tony stood in awe over how well the team listened to one man. 

"Tony, you and I are heading to Brooklyn Botanic Garden." 

"What?" 

"Red Skull." 

Tony didn't waste anytime in picking Steve up and flying off. 

Time seemed to fly by slowly as they flew, the constant updates flooded their communicators. Wounded were with Widow, Fury was there to start evacuating them, Octopus was out, Doom was out, Loki was stronger than he looked, Cyclops was back with Wolverine, Sabretooth was kicking their asses, Deadpool was helping them, three of the Fantastic Four were out for the count. Tony swallowed as Widow relayed all the information to them and he could _feel_ Steve starting to lose hope. 

"Put me down, I'll go find him. Get as much backup as you can." 

Looking back, Tony knew he shouldn't have listened. Especially when Steve pressed a kiss to his cheek before he left. 

It took him longer than expected, although fighting through Loki's minions, doombots and one rather pissed off half alive Lizard didn't help, but he'd finally managed to snag up Wolverine, Cyclops and Deadpool standing over a rather smoky corpse, Thor who was watching Hulk happily use Loki as a club and The Human Torch who looked like he'd seen better days. 

"You're kidding me? You left him alone?" 

"Look Torch, it wasn't the best option but it was the only one we had." 

"Dammit Stark," Wolverine snarled, stepping closer and digging his claws into the armor around Tony's chest. "If there is one _cut_ on him that wasn't there before, I swear I will make you _pay_." 

Tony just glared at him, his faceplate remaining up as their eyes clashed in barely held in challenges. Cyclops slowly leant forward and placed a hand on his fellow x-man's arm, trying to calm him. 

"Look, we need to focus on getting to Cap-" 

He was cut off by a deafening scream through the communicators. 

"Steve!" Tony instantly cried, _knowing_ that scream. " _Steve_! For fucks sake Steve! Answer me! Are you there? _Steve_!" 

There was no reply. 

"Motherfucker." 

Tony didn't even flinch at Wolverine's curse, nor when he all but threw himself at Tony. Instead he just wrapped arms around the other man and shot off into the sky, barely noticing Thor following with Cyclops and Torch somehow keeping himself from burning Deadpool as they flew. None of it mattered to him, nothing mattered, not even the way Wolverine's claws clung to him a little too tightly, piercing the armor of his arms. 

If he thought time was slow before, he was sorely mistaken. He spent the whole time screaming for Steve, begging him to reply. He refused to acknowledge the tears streaming down his face, he didn't have time to cry, crying was for babies. He ignored the others as they called for him, asking if _he_ was okay, telling him to calm down, that Steve would be alright, that everything would be fine. 

He refused to believe them. 

He dropped Wolverine when they were still a good fifty meters off the ground, but it didn't seem to hurt the other who took off as soon as Cyclops was beside him, disappearing into the trees as they called for their Captain. Deadpool stayed with Torch, an extra set of eyes and Thor tried to keep up with Tony, but no amount of Norse Godliness would ever match up to the power of a desperate man. 

It took him five minutes. 

Five minutes for him to find Steve. 

Five minutes for his world to crash down around him. 

"Steve…" he whispered, slowly beginning to land. His voice must've carried through, and the man curled up into a fetal position on his knees instantly looked up. 

"Tony! No! Don't land! God, please don't land!" 

He was stunned speechless but did as he was told, placing a hand on Thor's shoulder as he went to do the same. The Norse God raised an eyebrow before turning to hover beside him, the heat of the Torch on the other side joining him. 

"What's Cap doing?" Deadpool asked, craning his neck to look over Torch's shoulder. 

"Being a good boy is what," came a new voice, one with a thick german accent. Instantly Tony stiffened and looked up to see Red Skull grinning at them from on top of a nearby green house, eyes crazed and grin sadistic. 

"The hell you want with him!" Tony cried, flying that few inches forward, but stopping when he saw a small glint and noticed Wolverine and Cyclops crawling up towards the greenhouse, both with their eyes focused on the red man. He swallowed hard and looked down at Steve, noticing how still the other was and the desperate… teary eyes looking back at him. 

Oh hell no. No one made Steve cry. 

"Simple my dear Mr Stark, revenge. Its a sweet thing. I see that only few of your fighting companions are fit to fight now, only four is it? And all together. Tut tut, easy to take out. I mean, I'll eradicate dear old Steven Rogers here first, but I'm sure you won't mind having to wait will you?" Red Skull's grin was more manic now, and Thor had to reach out to hold Tony back. "Oh? Whats this? It seems you're a bit desperate to get to your captain?" 

"Fuck you." 

"I wonder, would it be the same as if I had captured one of your other friends?" he pondered, tapping his chin. "What is this Mr Stark? Is it love? Your hearts pounding, maybe your cheeks are red? It seems as if its only the strength of the lovely god beside you holding you back. I've seen you with Steven, you're a bit too affectionate sometimes." 

"I-" 

"Love him, want to protect him, need him, haven't even told him? Heard it all before, its pathetic really. Too bad you won't have much time to tell him will you?" he sneered before holding up some sort of controller. "See this? It'll kill him. Just one hit of the button I promise. This place is rigged to blow, and I wonder just how long it'll take for the debris to rip through Captain America's body. Maybe I'll make a scientific discovery!" 

Tony couldn't keep hold of his rage any longer. 

Despite Thor's attempts to hold him back, leading to a half destroyed gauntlet, Tony surged forward, eyes seeing nothing but red as he fired his repulsers in a stunned Red Skull's face. He was able to land a hit, once on the leg, before suddenly Wolverine was flying forward and hacking at him while Cyclops tackled him to the ground. 

It didn't stop the explosions. 

By the time Tony managed to shake off the daze it'd already been a few minutes. He struggled to his feet, spotting Torch and Deadpool lying a few feet away while Thor crouched beside them, waking them up. Wolverine was standing triumphantly over the corpse of Red Skull while Cyclops caught his breath leaning against him. 

He didn't see Steve. 

Without thought for the others, he rushed past them all, kicking aside rubble in a desperate attempt to find the other. He screamed his name, calling out madly as he rushed around blindly, begging for a reply. But none came, nothing happened, only dead silence. 

Until he found a body covered in red, white and blue. 

"Steve!" he cried, dropping to his knees as he flung his helmet off, scrabbling for purchase on Steve's uniform. WIth a hefty tug and a small sob he managed to yank Steve free from some of the debris lying on him until the blond was lying in his lap. "Steve? Steve talk to me! Don't you dare fucking die on me!" 

"T-Tony?" 

He couldn't hold back the relieved gasp as he leant down and pressed their foreheads together. "Dammit Steve, god fucking dammit. Don't you ever do that shit to me again, you hear me? I can't fucking live without… without you…" 

The sound of a stunned gasp signified the fact that the others were behind him and their communicators were still working enough for everyone else to hear the conversation. He didn't care though, focusing more on Steve's face, the one filled with wonder. 

"T-Tony… y-you r-really…?" 

"Yes. God yes." 

Steve smiled at him, a shaky bloody hand reaching up to touch Tony's tear stained cheek. He leaned into it, his eyes closing slightly. 

"You're going to be okay Steve, I promise. Fuck, I promise." 

He refused to acknowledge the state the other was in, refused to believe that all the red wasn't just Steve's uniform, that the cloudy unfocused eyes weren't showing how out of it Steve was, how the hitched breaths weren't because of the broken ribs protruding from his chest having punctured his lungs. 

"T-Tony?" 

"Yeah?" he whispered, gauntlet falling to the side in favor of his bare hand trailing across damp, matted blond locks. A small noise built up in the back of his throat at seeing the pain flicker across Steve's face at the simple touch, and without thinking he closed the last of the distance between them and kissed him despite the small noise of disapproval from the blond. 

He didn't resist long though, his hand that was on Tony's cheek tightening as he pooled all of his strength into the single kiss. 

"Tony?" he mumbled as soon as they were apart again, and Tony watched as the tears dripping down his face splashed onto Steve's cheeks, mixing with the cool clear ones pooling from crystal blue eyes. 

He knew what Steve was going to say before it was even out of his mouth. 

"What… what are you fighting for?" 

Tony couldn't reply before the blue dimmed and Steve went limp.

 

…

 

"You know, being plainly honest? I never actually believed you could die. I mean, for one thing you've died already but somehow came back. Not to mention you're Captain America. You punched Hitler for crying out loud, you almost singlehandedly won the world war. You're as much of a god as Thor." 

Tony sighed as he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the darkening sky. It was odd how the weather always seemed to reflect the perfect moods. 

"Logan won't forgive me. He stayed with me for the first week when we buried you, but he lost the plot when Thor managed to get him wasted with Asgardian Mead. Took it all out on me, even Summers had a hard time breaking us apart. Luckily he only nicked my arm with his claws." 

He smiled bitterly. 

"Kinda wish he'd hit an artery." 

With a sigh Tony crouched down on the ground, extending an arm to trail across the words printed on the plain black marble, across the small shield sign imprinted in the corner followed by the real miniature shield on the other side. It'd taken Tony a couple of days to make it, taking apart some of the walls around his lab so as to pull out the excess vibranium in it. The shield was an identical copy to the one that was now in Tony's room. 

"He was right, it was my fault. We could've gotten you out of there if I hadn't lost my temper. Fuck… I can't say sorry enough." 

His other hand clutched tightly around the bouquet of flowers. He didn't know what they were, nor did he really care. He was more focused on the tombstone. 

"They're still there at the tower, all of them are. The Fantastic Four have taken up temporary residence for now, and Torch… Johnny is good to be around. He was there you know? So were Thor and Logan and Summers. Deadpool and Spidey, Wade and Peter, are turning up every now and again. Peter misses you, you know? He looked at us as Mum and Dad, even though he was only around every few days, he still seems to have found time to adjust to us being parental figures. I think he's finding this almost as hard as Logan and… me…" 

He sucked in a deep breath and looked away, the cold air biting his red cheeks.  

"You asked me, you asked me what I was fighting for. I never got to answer did I? I asked the others what you were fighting for, apparently you'd told them all. I don't think I'd ever been as shocked as I was when Logan stood up and said… said it was me. Me you were fighting for." 

Tony laughed, his eyes burning with tears. He rarely cried, but lately it'd been the only thing he'd really been able to do. 

"I cried in front of all of them then. I hadn't done it before, but that just pushed me over the edge. Natasha was there though, hugging me and Peter was too. The others just stared at me and it really looked like Logan was guilty. He was holding Summer's hand and I think that he managed to somehow crush Logan's hand, despite the metal head being made of… well metal." 

The flowers fell down on top of the mound, the tips of them flittering across the headstone as they fell. Tony just stared at them for a long moment before looking away. 

"I told you I can't live without you Steve, I can't. I'm trying so hard. But I just can't. The pressure, the pain. I haven't felt like this in a long time, too long to really remember. I've always been the strong bull-headed guy, and you… you broke through that." 

He smiled sadly, the light not reaching his dimmed eyes. A gloved hand reached out and touched the tombstone again, lightly flicking across the stone before he turned to walk away, pausing only once. 

"After all Steve, my reason was you."

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily implied suicide, but you may take it whichever way. I imagine Tony to go sort out everything for the other Avengers to benefit from his death then pull out his arc reactor as he sits by Steve's grave.
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> [I sob over these two on tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


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